How do I love thee?

Here's the poem of the week. And I am blessed to truly feel this way. I love how she says I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach. Trying to love someone faithfully and kindly has expanded my soul in ways I didn't expect or imagine, but I am so grateful for.

SONNET #43, FROM THE PORTUGUESE

By Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints!---I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!---and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Veritable Vegetable Paradise

This Saturday is Charlottesville's 11th annual Vegetarian Festival! Last year both Aaron (an omnivore who has sworn never to fall to my vegetarian machinations) and I (an avowed vegetarian) enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. Part of the fun is you get to overhear the most amusing conversation. We heard the following exchange between a middle aged lady manning a vegan booth and a nine year old boy who had wandered up:

Boy: You don't eat meat?!? (In almost disbelief)
Woman: No, but I get to eat lots of wonderful and delicious fruits and vegetables. Don't you like fruits and vegetables?
Boy: Well...yeah...BUT not as much as MEAT!
Then he marched off, his mind made up.

There are also lots of tastey treats, food booths from local restaurants, good recipes, raffles, crazy people that are fun to watch, and fun for the kiddies. You can check out their web page here. If you have some free time Saturday it's worth checking out. It starts at 11 and goes to 4 and is located downtown next to the library.

Step Greed

I have a pedometer which I absolutely LOVE. As soon as I dress in the morning I strap it to my pocket and begin to eagerly anticipate its little numbers ticking higher and higher. To accomplish that goal I start to imagine and map circuitous routes through the apartment and office: through the hallway to feed the cat, go back to the bedroom for your socks, then back down the hallway and around the table for the cereal, then back up the hallway for you shoes etc etc. It gives my daily life purpose and meaning: to get a high score! Just like a video game.

Sadly, and despite my meandering, my little pedometer tends to confirm how sedentary my daily life really is. At my office, I have days when I come in to work, eat lunch, and leave without topping 300 steps. That means in an 8 hour period I traverse a distance of only about two football fields. That's like a minute of walking, for the WHOLE day. The recommendation for a healthy, able bodied adult is 10 to 12,000 steps a day. So I often leave work in need of at least 9.000 steps.

This leads to a life of all out step GREED. I am constantly trying to come up with excuses to gain some steps. I walk to the kitchen for water. I hand deliver proofs to editors instead of using their mailbox. I stock the printer paper. And if I'm feeling really desperate I will take ten or fifteen minute break to stroll through the graveyard next to the office. When I get home, doctor permitting, I'll run or go for a walk. If my numbers are still low I've learned that the grocery store is an excellent source for steps. Today I did all those things and my final number: a paltry 7,629. Sigh...

But the Pedometer is still a lot of fun. I really love being able to collect "data" on my daily activities. It's fun to spot the trends of my activity. Oddly enough Wednesdays tend to be my least active days after Sunday. Sunday scores are almost always abysmal since my normal schedule is church, nap, dinner, goodnight. It's also handy in tracking the distance of runs and provides an estimate of aerobic steps as well as calories burned. I have a "Brunton" and it has served me well and survived numerous near fatal drops.

2+2=5

What tastes better than black eyed peas? Anything! With one exception, this spicy black eyed pea salad. It doesn't taste like black eyed peas at all, that is to say, it tastes delicious! It's not spicy, it has a very crisp fresh taste. And it's got veggies and protien and is SUPER easy to make.

2 14 oz cans black eyed peas washed and drained
I medium green bell pepper diced
1/2 cup red onion diced
1 jalepeno pepper seeded and minced
I clove garlic minced
1 avacado cubed (1 cup)

MIX

Sauce:
2 Tbs. Lemon juice
1/4 cup olive oil
3 Tbs red wine vinegar
1 Tbs. Szechuan Sauce
2 tsp sugar

Pour in and Mix again

Optional:
Lightly sautee fresh spinach until it just barely begins to wilt. Then top spinach with pea mix.
Also good in wraps, on toast, plain, snacked on out of the fridge etc etc

Addict

The doctor told me I had to wait a week before I work out and I am NOT going to make it. When friends came by and asked if I wanted to run, I was good and told them I had to wait until Friday. I'm now thinking Wednesday is close enough. My sanity isn't going to make it to Friday. Why? Because I am a TOTAL endorphin junkie.

Without it I alternate between wanting to attack anything in my vicinity that moves and contentedly staring at the wall. It's BAD. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I've got so much nervous energy, I'm twitching. My life is in shambles and it's only the fourth day. I NEED those happy chemicals.

Does anyone have any remedies for endorphin withdrawl? At this point I'm ready to try anything.

The Moral: If you do not currently exercise, or do not exercise on a regular basis, don't start. Once you start, you can't go back. Your life will NEVER be the same!

The Prodigal Cat

Last night our prodigal cat returned mewling at our screen door. (Aaron, who is annoyingly editing over my shoulder didn't believe me that mewling is a word. He is SO wrong. Mewl - To cry weakly; whimper.) Anyway, Battle's coat was matted and full of stickers. Some of his flab had melted off leaving his nobby bones poking through his skin. As soon as we opened the screen door, he ran to his food bowl and after finishing the kitty kibble, ran to our toliet and drank from it for about five minutes (EW) Best of all, as this picture shows, he then plunked himself down between us and began scratching incessantly. Aaron and I figure he staid out just long enough to contract a wealth of parasites and disease to lovingly share back at home. But I am glad to have him back, even if he is ungrateful and dirty.

The most interesting part of his return is seconds before he showed up at our door we heard a large rumbling vehicle drive up by our apartment, idle for a moment then zoom off into the night. We didn't see it because we had the blinds closed over our screen door. This has lead to all kinds of speculation of what Battle could have been doing while gone. What was that vehicle? Battle's newly joined motorcylce gang? The Night Bus? The Cat bus? One of the three Nephites? Battle refuses to tell.

Costochondritis

Good news. My chest pain is just costochondritis, which is a fancy way of saying that the cartilage between my ribs and sternum is inflamed. It happens after a blow to the chest fails to heal. And while it can be as painful as a heart attack it is completely benign. Hurray! So I'll be on Motrin for the next week and doing my best to avoid Aaron's bear hugs. And the heart murmur? Nothing to worry about.

Now all we need is Battle to come home. Battle Pleeaase!

Murmuring

Do you ever have those days you wish you could just fast forward through? Or even better, just skip? I am having one of those days. I think it almost deserves terrible-horrible-no good-very bad day status.
Battle somehow managed to escape last night and has failed to return. I woke up late, too late to bike to work. I had my yearly doctor's visit to the ladies' doctor scheduled and I couldn't find my insurance card.
At the doctor's office, I was enjoying my breezy paper smock when the doctor said, I can hear your heart murmur, but you know about that right? What?! No. I've never had a heart murmur. She reassured me it was probably fine, I should get it checked out as soon as possible but since I haven't had chest pain or any other problems no need to worry.
That would be great news except for the persistent stabbing chest pain I've had for the last two years and worsening circulation. My other doctor -who was worthless- told me it was just muscle spasms. When my doctor heard that she was ready to send me to the ER. Oh brother. I kept thinking, please stop fueling my over active imagination.
I'm sure I'm fine but now I'm going to end up paying a mess of money to soothe my psyche. I have to go to another doctor tomorrow and I'm under strict orders not to exercise. Not exercise? How am I supposed to burn off my anxiety about my now inevitable heart failure?
And Aaron has class tonight.
So not a good day...
But I've kept myself distractedly entertained between imagining Battle's death and my own. When those get a little old, I switch to thoughts of how I would spend my last 24 hours of life - I've decided I would probably end my earthly existence doing exactly what I'm doing, worridly eating crackers on the couch in my pajamas.

Baby, I Love Your Swedish Way

Have you ever wondered what it would sound like to be serenaded by a Sexy, deep voiced Swede on say, a seventies game show? Well now you can know! Check out the band Irene, fresh from Goteburg. Don't know Swedish? Don't worry. The band sings in Swede flavored English. MmmMmm good.
Okay, so I started listening because it was funny but this cheerful retro-pop is dangerously infectious. How can you resist a happy Swede singing Baby I Love Your Way? or a song called Stardust? And it's really fun to dance to. I shouldn't be admiting this. Anyway, I promised Kristen I would post this, so here's the link.


My final word is warning from Alexander Pope:

Vice is a monster of so frightful mien,
As to be hated needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.

Aaron = Pain

If Aaron ever invites you to work out with him, think twice. Aaron is a strong guy and so he tends to forgot what us non-giants are capable of. Which is gratifying, until you have to correct his assumptions. I went to lift weights with him on Monday night and I am still in a WHOLE lot of pain. Most of the routine went like this:
Aaron: Now we’re going to do side-bicpetial-tricep-pectoral-bench-curls. They’re great for your arms!
Me: That’s not the one where you curl your arms to the side while laying on your back, right? I hate those, it feels like my muscles are being torn from my bones.
Aaron: Yep, that’s the one.
Me: Drat.
Aaron: You can do 50 lbs right? Here. (Casually swinging a weight my way that I have no business picking up)
Me: Hmph…NO! No. Try 5 lbs. (Me dropping the weight)
Aaron: No, you can do more than that. 30 lbs?
Me: No, Aaron, really, try something in the single digits.
Aaron: Okay here’s 15 lbs. (looking sort of disappointed)
So that’s about five minutes of the hour and a half workout. And it’s only an hour and half because I insist I have other things I need to do and Aaron only very reluctantly agrees to leave.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the challenge. And I can beat Aaron in things like the plank or running, but get him in the weight room and he becomes he becomes one crazy personal fitness trainer. If you want that go work out with him, just don’t expect to walk the next morning.

Not Again

I have this expectation that everything I buy should last forever. I paid good money for it so it should stick around for at least five years. Sadly, my running shoes are not cooperating. They keep wearing out. I need to buy some new ones. I like Asics but I just found out from another runner that the shoe company she love and wears, Ryka are giving away 50 pairs of shoes a day for 25 days! So 2500 pairs of shoes are up for grabs. Sorry guys, Ryka just makes lady's shoes. So maybe, maybe I won't have to buy another pair of running shoes. They're also giving away running clothes. You can enter here.
Good Luck!

Bubba Gump Papas

I have a sense that some people may be tiring of my extended Pawpaw exposition so this should wrap it up for the blog for a while. I still believe that Pawpaws are some of the tastiest fruit in the world. Here are some things I learned at the Pawpaw festival:

Pawpaws were beat by the blueberry. Both are native north american plants that caught cultivators interest in the early part of this century. Orchards of pawpaws were planted then forgotten when bananas from Central America became cheap and plentiful. The blueberry survived to become the well loved berry it is today. But I like to imagine just how common and plentiful pawpaws could have become. Many Pawpaw cultivars of today come from those forgotten orchards which Neal Peterson of Peterson's Pawpaws hiked into.

Pawpaws helped Lewis and Clark survive on the way back from their great expedition.

According to a newspaper from the time, the Hatfields shot three McCoys after tying them to Pawpaw trees, which is wierd because pawpaws are sort of spindly little trees.

Pawpaws are more nutritious than many of your common fruits. Better than grapes or peaches from my memory. They are equivalent to blueberries.

Swallowing pawpaw seeds will make you throw up.

If you want to get a lot of fruit on your pawpaw tree keep a goat. He will get you the pollinating flies you need.

And most excitingly, here are some tastey foods that are made using pawpaws:

Pure Pawpaw (Yes)
Pawpaw icecream (Yes)
Pawpaw icecream sandwiches (Yes)
Pawpaw smoothies (Yes)
Pawpaw popsicles
Pawpaw jam (Yes)
Pawpaw chutney (Yes)
Pawpaw pizza (Yes)
Pawpaw candy
Dried Pawpaw
Pawpaw chicken
Pawpaw bread
Pawpaw preserves
Pawpaw frozen pulp
Pawpaw bbq sauce
Pawpaw wine
Pawpaw beer
Pawpaw frosting (Yes)

The "yes"s are food Norma and I had a chance to consume.

Atlatl

The pawpaw festival was a wonderful time. The pawpaws were tastey and the Ohioans were friendly. (Is that what you call someone who lives in Ohio?) One of the funnest things at the festival was the atlatl throwing. I had never heard of an atlatl before Saturday but it was mankind's supreme weapon for several thousand years. They date back to 18,000 BC. At that age, it procedes the bow and arrow and for some people the creation of the world. It's a stick that projects long spear like darts with suprising force. Caveman used them to bring down all kinds of monstrous game. The Aztecs could penetrate conquistador armor with their powerful atlatls. How do I know this? Wikipedia's article on the atlatl, of course.

So back to the pawpaw festival: There was an atlatl target range open to anyone. Several hunter guys were using atlatls to hit a deer target with unnerving force and accuracy from about 100 feet away. Norma and I decided to try get in touch with our caveman roots and gave it a try. We put down our bags and were directed away from the men in camo to the kiddie range. It was really fun even though I was mocked mercilessly by the seven year old shooting next to me. You can see him standing behind Norma wearing a blue sea otter t-shirt. While I was aiming and trying to focus on my would be perfect shot he shouted out "Hey You! YOU! YEah YOOOOU! We Are ALLL waiting on YOU! You to shoot! SHoot already, why don't yah!" I was pretty ready to shoot him but I restrained myself.

We actually took a movie of some of our shots and I might try to post those later. Youtube isn't cooperating right now. Until then you can enjoy this picture of Norma modeling the atlatl and preparing to slaughter any mammoth unlucky enough to cross her path.

Miss You

So for the next two to three days I’ll be enjoying the glory of middle America. I’m So Excited! In the doubtful case that any of you miss me, here’s a tasty tid-bit for you to savor during my absence. It’s the Challenger album from the New Pornographers. And it’s not as bad a name as it seems. A 1950s evangelist Jimmy Swaggart declared music to be the new pornography thus this Canadian band identifies themselves as the new pornographers. The music itself is crystal clean. REALLY. You can listen to it here.

O-HI-O

It's decided: Norma and I will be attending the 2007 Ohio Pawpaw festival this weekend. We will be leaving Friday afternoon. We think we'll try to split the 6 hour trip halfway and are looking for a good place to spend the night. Anyone know a good stopping point for two husbandless ladies in the wilds of the West Virginia mountains? Or any other attractions that might be worth seeing along the way?

PS-You can see my new haircut in the picture. I think it looks okay, but sort of like a girl mullet which isn't cool. But Aaron says I'm the only one who thinks that. At least it's lighter.

Poem of the Week, A little Late

Part One: Life


SUCCESS is counted sweetest
By those who ne’er succeed.
To comprehend a nectar
Requires sorest need.

Not one of all the purple host
Who took the flag to-day
Can tell the definition,
So clear, of victory,

As he, defeated, dying,
On whose forbidden ear
The distant strains of triumph
Break, agonized and clear.

-Emily Dickinson

I needed a short poem this week because I got a little behind on Lucasta. I picked this because I already sort of know it. And I like the poem. I love Emily Dickinson. I wouldn't mind memorizing everything she ever wrote.

I also picked the poem because there's a great story to go with it. My senior year of high school a boy I knew wrote this in my year book, drew a rose next to it and never spoke to me again. He was painfully shy. Definitely the best year book inscription EVER. Ahhh, high school, such a tragic time...

The Chopping Block

I have a hair cut at 5:15 today. I've needed to get my hair cut for way too long. It's to my shoulders now and sort of shaggy in a bad way. Even though I have the appointment, I have no idea how I want it cut. I don't even know if I want to keep it long or go short. The only picture I could find that I liked was of a REALLY short hair cut. What I want is a hair cut that will fall in to place. I need something that works with the bike helmet. I've been thinking that keeping it long and being able to braid it up is best, but if I cut it short enough it would work too. Any advice? Short? Long? Shaved?

Old Man Pawpaw

The Yellow Billed Cuckoo in a Pawpaw tree by John James Audubon

I believe in America--because America is home to the paw paw. For those of you who are not familiar with the pawpaw, the pawpaw is possibly the most delicious fruit in the world, capable of taking on the tastiest tropical competitors. Pawpaws are the largest native fruit of North America. They are sometimes called prairie or Ozark bananas. They are round, green on the outside and can be up to 6" long and 3" wide. Inside are two rows of seeds and the delicious creamy yellow fruit. It tastes kind of like a custardy mango with a bit of banana and pear thrown in. It's smooth and sweet and creamy.



Sadly, you are not likely to encounter a pawpaw, even in the produce section of your most gourmet grocery store. This is because the pawpaw has a short shelf life and isn't a very good pollinator, so it is hard to grow the fruit commercially. The blossoms of the pawpaw tree are not sweetly fragrant. Their main pollinator is the carrion flies, so it has trouble attracting bees or other insects who prefer sweeter fair. Fortunately, the intrepid Kentucky State University is working on the problem.

The only way to really get pawpaws is to go for a walk in the woods. Pawpaws grow naturally in the East from the Great Lakes to Texas. Pawpaw trees are 6' to 30' tall. The fruit ripens at the end of the summer. Our friends, Norma and Brian are expert pawpaw foragers. They seek them out on public, and sometimes private land. They usually ask permission. They graciously shared some of their bounty tonight and the pawpaws were perfectly ripe and absolutely delicious.

After such a delicious treat, Aaron and I were having pawpaw cultivating dreams of our own. We looked up pawpaws on the internet and were thrilled to discover the Ohio Pawpaw Festival (logo below--old man pawpaw). Fortuitously, it is this weekend! We're thinking of planning a trip...except that Aaron has class on Saturday. So maybe I'll just go myself. Any one interested in a pawpaw adventure? There will be pawpaw baked goods, pawpaw eating competitions, and other events. It sounds like a really good time. Probably worth the trip just for the t-shirt.

So thanks Norma and Brian, for introducing us to the delicious, all-American pawpaw.

YUM!

I found this blog lately and have fallen in love. The girl's got style! Design style, which is the best kind to have. If you have a minute, check it out here.



On the blog's recommendation I found this cool little jewelry shop, Blue Poppy. I want to pierce my ears just so I can wear their earrings. It's run by some very cool stay at home moms. So impressive!

Foot Fix Take 2

So with the walking and biking and running I've become fairly selective about shoes. I want a shoe that looks decent and can take the mileage. That combination is more difficult to find that I originially suspected. I really needed a new pair, my old ones were wearing out fast. I've been hunting around for a couple of weeks but Aaron came to my rescue and got me Teva's Makaylas. I must say he has excellent taste. Not only do I love the way these look, they feel AMAZING. They're super light weight and as comfortable as moccasins. I almost feel like I'm not wearing anything at all. But they are also super sturdy and can take the beating of me biking to work. Even cooler, they're made of recycled materials! Thanks Aaron!

Foot Fix

Since we're now only a year away from law school's finish, Aaron and I have begun to ponder what life without either one of us in school might be like. Aaron is working on interviewing at firms in a variety of locations. We've begun asking ourselves just where we would like to end up. My answer: somewhere I can walk, run, and ride my bike with ease. Bonus points for the availability of hiking trails and the beach.

That may seem like a small thing but I've fallen deeply in love with car-independence. Being able to walk around is for me a great litmus test for the area's quality of life. We currently live only blocks away from the supermarket, the law school, one of my favorite clothing stores and a bookstore. I can bike to work, the art store, and the library. Most of our friends live in easy walking or biking distance. The only time I'm now regularly getting into my car is to drive to church, and that's only because I have not yet mastered biking in a skirt.

I hate that I might loose this new found freedom in a year. I didn't know how I would even begin to search for a similar location But to my great JOY I found www.walkscore.com. Type in an address and it will tell you just how "walkable" the neighborhood you live in is. My current address and my home town address scored 62 and 63 out of 100.

Here are some of the perks of living in a pedestrian friendly neighborhood, as listed on the site:

Better health: A study in Washington State found that the average resident of a pedestrian-friendly neighborhood weighs 7 pounds less than someone who lives in a sprawling neighborhood1. Residents of walkable neighborhoods drive less and suffer fewer car accidents, a leading cause of death between the ages of 15 - 45.

Reduction in greenhouse gas: Cars are a leading cause of global warming. Your feet are zero pollution transportation machines. (And you burn your own fuel, calories, i.e. that extra cupcake you probably should have passed on)

More transportation options: Compact neighborhoods tend to have higher population density, which leads to more public transportation options and bicycle infrastructure. Not only is taking the bus cheaper than driving, but riding a bus is ten times safer than driving a car!

Increased social capital: Walking increases social capital by promoting face-to-face interaction with your neighbors. Studies have shown that for each 10 minutes a person spends in a daily car commute, time spent in community activities falls by 10 percent

Stronger local businesses: Dense, walkable neighborhoods provide local businesses with the foot traffic they need to thrive. It's easier for pedestrians to shop at many stores on one trip, since they don't need to drive between destinations.

And some more reasons from me:

Getting a chance to enjoy the outdoors each day and watch the seasons change

Saving time by merging commute and workout time into one event

Building character when you alone are the only kid whose mother will not pick them up because she knows you are well within walking distance

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

I finished reading The Glass Castle tonight. I hesitate to say that I enjoyed reading it, there were too many agonizing moments. At times, I wanted to scream into the book. I got so MAD I threw it across the room. I then pulled myself off the couch, retrieved it and started reading again. But it has my highest recommendations. It reminded me of the people I've known that have been down and out. They're not stupid or ignorant, but their lives, for a variety of reasons, are in shambles. And after working at a shelter for abused women and their children, I learned there are a lot of really "normal" people that fall on hard times.
But you don't have to take my word for it. Duh duh Duh. (That's the Reading Rainbow Song)

Whatever you think about poverty, this is a great book to have around for parenting. I plan on keeping it on my shelf. That way when I have children that tell me that I am a terrible parent I can say "Go Read The Glass Castle Right Now, Young Lady!" (Aaron and I are pretty sure we are only having girls)

Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind

"Lovers Running" by Brian Kershisnik

Law School has started up again for Aaron. We are scrambling to order our lives around his class and study schedule. There's an expectation that every year of law school gets a little less intense, a little more sane. So I expected that this third and final year I could look forward to seeing Aaron around a bit more. A friend of ours, another third year, managed to schedule all his classes to fit on just three days a week, so I was starting to feel hopeful.

That was a mistake. After some final class hunting, Aaron came back with a schedule with class Monday through SATURDAY. Saturday? Saturday isn't supposed to be a school day! And he has class Monday and Friday night. Friday night, which was our date night. If I didn't know better, I might think he was trying to avoid me. He promisies he isn't and keeps quoting this poem to me, changing out the words war and sword with things like law school and study. It makes me laugh even though I'm still annoyed. So here's the poem of the week:

To Lucasta, on Going to the Wars

TELL me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
That from the nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
To war and arms I fly.

True, a new mistress now I chase,
The first foe in the field;
And with a stronger faith embrace
A sword, a horse, a shield.

Yet this inconstancy is such
As thou too shalt adore;
I could not love thee, Dear, so much,
Loved I not Honour more.

-Richard Lovelace