Murmuring

Do you ever have those days you wish you could just fast forward through? Or even better, just skip? I am having one of those days. I think it almost deserves terrible-horrible-no good-very bad day status.
Battle somehow managed to escape last night and has failed to return. I woke up late, too late to bike to work. I had my yearly doctor's visit to the ladies' doctor scheduled and I couldn't find my insurance card.
At the doctor's office, I was enjoying my breezy paper smock when the doctor said, I can hear your heart murmur, but you know about that right? What?! No. I've never had a heart murmur. She reassured me it was probably fine, I should get it checked out as soon as possible but since I haven't had chest pain or any other problems no need to worry.
That would be great news except for the persistent stabbing chest pain I've had for the last two years and worsening circulation. My other doctor -who was worthless- told me it was just muscle spasms. When my doctor heard that she was ready to send me to the ER. Oh brother. I kept thinking, please stop fueling my over active imagination.
I'm sure I'm fine but now I'm going to end up paying a mess of money to soothe my psyche. I have to go to another doctor tomorrow and I'm under strict orders not to exercise. Not exercise? How am I supposed to burn off my anxiety about my now inevitable heart failure?
And Aaron has class tonight.
So not a good day...
But I've kept myself distractedly entertained between imagining Battle's death and my own. When those get a little old, I switch to thoughts of how I would spend my last 24 hours of life - I've decided I would probably end my earthly existence doing exactly what I'm doing, worridly eating crackers on the couch in my pajamas.