Impaired Judgement

Yesterday I left work with a budding migraine. By the time it got home I was in so much pain I could barely stand. I took the maximum recommended amount of pain killers for a six hour period and waited for the throbbing ache to ease. No luck. So then I thought, I need caffeine, what has caffeine around here?
Unfortunately in my compromised state all I could think of was our chocolate milk. So I downed about a half gallon of chocolate milk. The pain eased just enough for me to realize that there were much more efficient caffeine sources than chocolate milk. It entered into my foggy brain a slight recollection of the laundry room vending machine (which I see at least once a week). So I dragged myself to the laundry room and quickly downed three Mountain Dews. On my fourth my headache started to ease and I realized I had made a terrible mistake. Four Mountain Dews and a half gallon of chocolate milk mixed with a bunch of pain killers is BAD news. I had exchanged my crippling headache for a gastric disaster.
My mom told me that people that get migraines are more likely to commit suicide, mainly because they are willing to take large amounts of drugs in an attempt to control the pain. So I guess I'm lucky that the most dangerous substances at my disposal are chocolate milk and Mountain Dew. Thankfully they didn't kill me but I'm pretty sure they came close.